Shaping My Behavior To Meet My Children’s Needs

The Conscious Parent

I recently had the privilege of attending a workshop run by Dr Shefali Tsabary, the author of “The Conscious Parent”. It was incredible. It was truly transformational.

Dr Shefali is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me: 

  • My children are my greatest teachers – if I allow them
  • My children teach me to become what they need me to be
  • I am raising myself to raise my children – I am not raising my children
  • It is not my children who need “fixed” it is me
  • My children respond to me in the only way they know how
  • They respond in a way to meet their needs
  • Parent moment to moment
  • Meet the AS IS of the situation with no judgment or agenda
  • Parent from essence and abundance, not ego and lack

On the cover of this outstanding book, running parallel, in between the words in the title, “The Conscious Parent”, are two, powerful smaller lines of text:

transforming ourselves 

empowering our children

 “How do I do this? How do I become more conscious?”

  • Parent from a place of what IS, not what IF…
  • Parent from abundance, not lack
  • Honor each of my children’s authentic selves and unique spirit
  • Pay attention to my inner landscape and keep it clean
  • Watch my thoughts – remind myself that my thoughts are not real
  • Watch out for my ego:
    • The ego can very easily lure and cajole me into parenting from a place of fear, guilt, shame, lack, doubt
    • The ego is a sneaky beast who can and will creep up on me when I least expect it
    • Do not let myself fall prey to the ego’s manipulative, persuasive thoughts that will not serve me
    • Do not attach meaning to fearful thoughts or an entourage of thoughts will ensue – try to nip them in the bud
  • Practice meditation to help me see my thoughts as just thoughts. Practice watching them come and watching them go, not attaching to them
  • Keep my ego in check and continually self-scan for signs of the sneaky beast: the what if’s, I should’s, I ought’s, I’m not good enough’s. If they arrive, hose them down!
  • Be clear with my values
  • Use containment and boundaries to protect my values
  • Connect me to what my child needs me to be. Does this mean I become permissive? Absolutely not
  • Embody my values and live in alignment with them
  • Regularly ask myself these questions:
    • What is happening for me right now?
    • What is happening for my child right now?
    • What do they need?
    • What do I need to be for them, to teach them, guide them, support and empower them?

I know, it’s easier said than done, but the more I try, the more I improve. The more I am aware, the more I can continue my transformation.

I believe that my journey as a parent is a work in progress, an ever-evolving practice. But, like everything in life, I have to work for what I believe in and I am fully committed to raising myself to empower my children. I see the benefits of it each and every day.

Thank you Dr Shefali Tsabary for the gift you have given me and continue to bring to me each and every day.


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