In my previous blog I discussed the importance of determining your parenting style and trying whenever possible to be consistent to it. Just like children, parents grow and change and our styles change. We need to remain compassionate for ourselves and our children as we trip and fall on our quest to become better parents. Our goal is common, we are all trying to be the best we can be. Focus on the present and on moving forward with enthusiasm and zest. Just remember that a strong warm connection and a fair method of discipline provides an excellent platform for a successful parenting style which will allow your children to manage life’s ups and downs including their relationship with us. This is the first of a two part blog where I will explore the ways you can become more of a democratic or backbone parent. In this blog I will discuss CONNECTION, RESPECT, ENCOURAGEMENT, using GUIDANCE in your DISCIPLINE PLAN and being FIRM and KIND. Commit to staying CONNECTED Without water, a plant will wither and die. Without connection, a relationship will also wither and die. Connection and attachment are primal needs, even more so than having food. To maintain …Read more →
Monthly Archives: February 2014
What is your Parenting Style?
Have you ever given much thought to what parenting style you follow and what the effects of it are on your children? There are three main categories of parenting styles, Authoritarian, Permissive and Democratic. Barbara Coloroso, a well-known parenting expert, names these Brick Wall, Jellyfish and Backbone. Authoritarian parenting, the “you will do as I say” style, the main style of generations past, is today recognized as being old school and quite simply not right. Permissive parenting on the other hand, a more modern day form of parenting, the “do as you please” model, has most probably evolved as a result of parents not wanting to be authoritarian but not knowing just how to modify and adapt it resulting in it going too far in the opposite direction. What has happened? Parents are caught between these two very different styles of parenting, authoritarian and permissive and flip-flop back and forth between the two. Children are confused by this inconsistent mixed style: one minute they can do what they want and the next they have to do what they are told. What can we do? We need to transform our parenting style to more of a Democratic one (Adlerian Parenting), the …Read more →
ENCOURAGEMENT & PRAISE – WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
In an earlier blog, I discussed “Encouraging your Child”. In this blog, I will look at highlighting the differences between encouragement and praise and the effects of each on your child. We live in such a “praizy” (praise and crazy) society it is important that we recognize the ill effects of too much praise on our children. How many times do we hear “Wow, good job”, “You are so clever”, “That’s an amazing painting, you are a such great artist”. “I am so proud of you”. Phrases full of praise like these are used so frequently that they can almost lose their meaning. “If we’re going to bring out the best in people, we, too, need to sow seeds of encouragement” – Joel Osteen “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water” – Rudolph Dreikurs The Differences between Encouragement and Praise Encouragement means: to put courage in, to inspire Encouragement makes one feel good about oneself and therefore believe in oneself as it comes from within – it is an internal motivator Encouragement helps build self-esteem and self-confidence Encouragement focuses on how you get there ie. on the effort, improvement and process Praise means: to speak highly of, to …Read more →
Managing the Challenges of Parenting in a Digital World
How long should they be allowed to play? When should they play? Where should they play? How do I control what they are doing? These are all questions we get asked by parents regularly. There is no “black and white” answer because we all have different values and opinions regarding this. Think about what children are not doing as a result of being on their devices – this is more the problem…..they are playing at the park less, spend less time interacting with other children, have less time for creative play, spend less time reading and drawing, have less time for playing sport and simply have less time to just be children. Creating the right balance is key. The digital world plays a huge part in our everyday lives, it is here to stay and as such we have to embrace it for all it has to offer and teach our kids how to manage it appropriately. To deny our children the skill of being digitally adept would be remiss but to set no limits on how much time they spend doing so would be irresponsible. Having limits and boundaries on device use teaches children many life skills some of …Read more →
