Why is it that so many University students appear to be failing, not coping and dropping out of college? The logical answer to this would be that these students are somehow unable to cope and succeed with the pressures that University puts upon them. It’s strange because many of these kids coped just fine when they were at home; in fact, they were straight A students who had never failed and always succeeded. Why is this? Could it perhaps be the way in which they were raised? Are we as parents unintentionally doing something that’s setting our children up for failure? Could it be that they have not developed sufficient resilience and not acquired adequate coping skills? How do we develop resilience? To develop resilience we have to reach a point where we recognize the futility of a situation, where frustration reaches boiling point and we realize that: This is it, It won’t work, I can’t have it or I will have to do it. Reaching this point forces us to re-think: What can I do? What am I going to have to do? How can I possibly make this work? At this junction, we have to learn to adapt …Read more →
Monthly Archives: May 2014
USING CONSEQUENCES TO MODIFY BEHAVIOR
The use of consequences and limit setting are both positive forms of discipline that can be used to modify behavior and help foster intrinsic motivation in our children. The use of these will ultimately help guide and teach our children to make wise choices and choose socially responsible behaviors. I think that sometimes consequences can be made to be more complicated than they actually are. I have set this out to give you different situations that might call for consequences, how to devise them and apply them effectively. 3 Different Situations for applying Consequences 1. For when you have identified a recurrent behavior challenge Where possible it is definitely easier to have a consequence pre-thought so when the behavior unfolds, you have the consequence at the ready. It is a great idea to think of behaviors/actions that happen frequently in your home that result in conflict. Then decide upon a course of action and consequence so everyone knows in advance what will happen if or when…….. Toys are left out Bar wrappers are on the floor in the car Cereal plates are left out on the counter Clothes are all over their bedroom floors Field hockey cleats are left on a …Read more →
MOTHERS DAY – “THANK YOU MOM”
Thank you Mom for being the best Mom ever. You could turn your hand to almost anything; chef, event planner, chauffeur, algebra tutor, cleaner, diplomat, bike mechanic, peacekeeper, vet, handyman, artist, nurse, personal assistant, time keeper, game maker upper, tennis umpire…… have I missed anything and did you honestly think you would never see another fraction after graduating from high school? For me, it was really when I became a mother myself that I gained a new-found appreciation for everything my Mom has done for me. The unconditional love, the unwavering support, the eternal shoulder, the person who is always there for me, 24 / 7 and last but by no means least, the values she instilled in me. Mom, you allowed me to be me, to be proud of who I am today. You taught me right from wrong. You set fair limits and boundaries in which I could learn and feel safe. You encouraged me to play and be creative. You made sure that I got enough sleep even when I objected to “being the only one that had to go to bed THAT early”. You cooked me lovely meals. You wiped my brow when I was sick. …Read more →
