I have spent hours and hours trying to work out why parents today seem to SHOUT more than parents of yesteryear. My most educated guess is stress? To clarify, by “shout”, I mean shout when they wish they hadn’t! I personally feel that one of the underlying reasons for this is the effect that the media has on our lives today. There’s just no escaping it: whether it be on the TV, in magazines on every shelf everywhere, on our Phones, iPads, Computers, on Facebook, on Twitter. It’s the new CULTURE that has come upon us and in terms of “time”, it has happened FAST and it’s COMPETITIVE and it seems to permeate our every pore. Despite our best attempts to minimize our exposure to “screens” I am sure that our brains are almost continually “back lit” and as research is proving, it is leaving us in a more emotionally “reactive” (heightened or more “alarmed”) baseline state. The logical conclusion to draw from this is that if we are more “wired and reactive” then perhaps we are more likely to shout? How might this be manifesting itself in our children? More aggression, more zombie like, more distracted, less likely to …Read more →
Monthly Archives: October 2014
LIFE SKILLS NEEDED FOR CHILDREN TODAY
What core skills do you think children need to thrive today? Have you ever really considered that you may be parenting to an ineffective, redundant parenting model that is not reflective of today’s needs? Have you really given much thought to how your parenting style might be negatively impacting your children developing the key life skills and competencies required TODAY? These are all questions that I believe all parents today really should be thinking about. In a world that is constantly changing, we are constantly having to adapt to change: there are advantages and disadvantages to this. The good – more information invites us to consider new things which means that we can embrace the new that resonates with us, which helps us to adapt, grow stronger and develop resilience but when there are so many things changing it can become overwhelming. The thought provoking excellent blog I refer to and have posted a link to below, highlights all the new things and processes that are being considered and implemented to help nudge the education system forward in a direction that is more in alignment with developing the key skills children require TODAY. This blog highlights beautifully, many core skills …Read more →
ADDICTED TO THE iPAD, iPHONE, iTOUCH iEVERYTHING?
Why is it that the limits we set on device use just don’t seem to hold up? My kids just will not stop playing games on their devices All they seem to want to do is play games They say everything else is boring Whenever there is a spare minute, they turn to their device Over the years, I have observed many families and listened to many frustrated parents voicing their concerns regarding the influence that games and devices have on their family and the conclusion that I have come to is as follows: It would seem that the families who have more routine and structure, set fair limits and boundaries and adhere to them, and whose children face the consequences for their actions, appear to have children who are more able to tow the line and accept the limits imposed on them. In other words, these children have learned to live within them and have developed some capacity to tolerate the frustration that this brings them. There is a resignation within these kids that “that’s that, it’s just the way it is and there is no point arguing about it”. What I observe is that the family’s who are …Read more →
TEMPER, ANGER, TANTRUMS, REACTIONS?
Have you ever given much thought to how you react to things? How do you react in conflict situations? How do you react when you are very sad or mad? How do you react to your children fighting, bickering and arguing? Have you ever considered that your children might react the way you react, after all we are their primary role models. Being able to switch from reactivity mode to response mode is as skill I believe key to parenting well, however, it is certainly much easier said than done! In this modern, digital, seemingly instant world, we are all so easily aroused with many things coming into consideration to influence us in the heat of the moment. If you are tired, or hungry, or having a bad day, have a headache, your reaction to future things will all be based off that. It’s hardly surprising that something else which challenges this baseline, such as kids whining, arguing, bickering and fighting might tip us over the edge into reactivity and doing or saying something without thought that we might regret. Reacting to something in the heat of the moment often means that you take the low road. How do …Read more →
PARENTING IN A NUTSHELL
How do I know my children will make the right choice and responsible decision? I have been asked this question so many times and the simple answer is that you won’t unless you have the confidence and trust in your child that he or she will make the right choice or responsible decision. What you can do? You can raise your children in such a way as to instill in them the skills which you believe will hopefully equip them to make the right decisions and wise choices. Unless you are right there with them every time they have decisions to make, you will never know. Which poses the next question: do you really want to be beside them for their every waking minute in order to make sure they (actually you) make that decision because if you are with them making every decision for them they will never learn how to do it for themselves. In a nutshell, all parents want their children to make the right choice especially in their absence. We all want our children to feel CONNECTED and have a deep sense of belonging, where all is well with them so that they feel safe We …Read more →
