What do you typically see? The things that bring you Joy and aliveness or the things that are Challenges? Do you sometimes almost feel blinded by the challenges? Many of us, myself included, sometimes need reminded of the fact that there is always joy somewhere, it’s just that maybe we can’t always see it. It might be that we haven’t seen it for a while? Maybe it is being drowned out by the challenges and chaos. “I love watching my child experience something new and see the smile take over her face” “Please can you all clear your clutter off the dining table, there’s a pair of shin guards there, a laptop, Olaf and a bowl from breakfast that you said you would put in the dishwasher, dinner is nearly ready.” “I love the cuddles, hugs and I love yous”  “Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes, please will someone deal with the table?” “I love our life, we are all healthy and have so much fun together” “Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes, PLEASE will you clear the table and set it?” “I love creating things with my kids – from sandcastles in the summer to snowmen in …Read more →

Deep down I have always known this but sometimes, okay, many times, my actions would not have lead anyone to believe it, least of all myself! This standpoint or perspective however, has been pivotal to me really being able to bring about positive changes in my children’s behavior. It is also a work in progress, as it is only as good as I am at implementing my own change process. Here’s the deal and I truly believe this: If I want my kids to stop being controlling, I have to stop feeding it. My kids can’t control anyone if there is no-one to control. I have to control myself, change my approach and drop the rope so that I don’t get drawn into battle with them If I want my kids to listen without me shouting, then I have to change what I am doing: stop shouting. When I stop shouting and change my approach, they might just change theirs and start to listen If I want my kids to be less defensive, I have to be less defensive with them. I have to control myself and change my approach so that I don’t get hauled into the argument Whatever …Read more →

Just as my youngest child spilled their bowl of Rice Krispies all over the table and the floor someone else yelled: “Mum, one of the cats has thrown up in its bed. It’s disgusting and I am not cleaning it up, it’s gross!” My eldest child then proceeded to go on a rant about the fact that there weren’t any decent snacks for school (true) and just to cap it all, my husband walked into the kitchen apologizing that something had come up in his diary which would have an impact on my day, and not in a good way. Aaaaaarrrrrhhhhhh… In a split second, my nice “rosy” morning took a turn for the worst! Suddenly my lens was not quite a rosy as it had been and I was now seeing things through a dirty, mucky one and I’ll add, angry and frustrated into the “view”. The kids went off to school, I cleaned up the mess, did some shimmying and juggling with my work commitments and sat down to my day job. Nothing was going well, I was in such a bad mood. I couldn’t see straight and I had no clarity as to my direction. As for …Read more →