Why do I get so upset when my kids are on their devices? It makes me feel so exasperated, deflated, de-energized. Seeing them plugged in, with their headphones on feeling good about being a virtual hero depresses me. Seeing them judge themselves with hearts on Instagram is numbing for me as a Mom. Do you find yourself in battles with your kids over their device use and feeling this way too? My three kids don’t even spend much time on their devices and yet I continue to get wound up by it. Having given it a fair amount of thought, there are two reasons why I think it affects me like this. The first one being that I know just how harmful and addictive too much of it can be. I know just how much it can negatively influence their developing sense of identity. But for me it’s more than that. It boils down to the fact that no matter how interesting the content, looking at a screen just doesn’t cut it for ME and therefore I can’t understand why kids love it so much! And why they would choose it over other exciting, real, in person activities. It just …Read more →
Monthly Archives: July 2015
What My 10 Year Old Son Taught Me Totally Blew Me Away
I woke up last Monday morning and knew that the day had finally come. I had an important call to make. I was both excited and anxious about it. I made myself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch. As it was the first day of summer holidays my 10 year old son sat down beside me. We were chatting and I explained to him that I was a bit nervous about my call later that day. “What do you do when you feel nervous?” I asked him. “Okay” he said, “This is what I do Mom.” “First of all, I think of kind, happy, nice things. I think of friendly things and I say to myself: ‘I can do this’” He then told me about the Mindfulness work he does at school and how it can help him, especially if and when he is nervous. “Oh” I said, “What did you do in your Mindfulness Class?” “Well we all sit on the mat in a circle, cross legged with our hands on our thighs. We close our eyes.” “The teacher smacks (loved his choice of word here!) his chime and I have to watch the noise. …Read more →
The Dark Side of Praise and How To Avoid It
We live in such “praizy” (praise and crazy) times it is important that we recognize the ill effects of too much praise on our children. How many times do we hear “Wow, good job”, “You are so clever”, “That’s an amazing painting, “You are a such great artist”. “I am so proud of you”. Phrases full of praise like these are used so frequently that they almost lose their meaning. Children then become dependent on them in order to feel good about themselves. “If we’re going to bring out the best in people, we, too, need to sow seeds of encouragement” – Joel Osteen “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water” – Rudolph Dreikurs What’s the difference between Encouragement and Praise? Encouragement means: to put courage in, to inspire Encouragement makes one feel good about oneself and therefore believe in oneself as it comes from within – it is an internal motivator Encouragement helps build self-esteem and self-confidence Encouragement focuses on how you get there ie. on the effort, improvement, journey and process Praise means: to speak highly of, to commend, to glorify Praise tends to focus on the end result Praise is positive judgment coming from the …Read more →
