Could Our Child Have ADHD?

Could our child have ADHD? Might our son actually have ADHD? “Why is my son’s lunch sitting beside the tooth paste in the bathroom and he has already left for school?” “I told him to meet me outside the school at 3pm, why has he taken the bus home?” “Why is the homework on the dining table? He told me that it was due yesterday?” “What do you mean you can’t find your cleats, we just got them back from the lost and found…” “Why is the fridge door open?” Sound familiar? Welcome to the world of living with a boy with ADHD. Whilst I understand that many of these things are just normal things for boys (and some girls, sure!), the frequency and intensity at which these types of things occur when a child has ADHD, is at times unbelievable. Read this great article on A Day In The Life Of a Boy With ADHD. Here’s another tough thing: often if you talk about this with your friends, they will invariably tell you that it’s all normal. That their boys are just the same. Take a chill pill. Someone even said this to me: “You grew up with girls, …Read more →

How To Parent A Strong Willed / Controlling Child

As a Parent Coach, I get more questions on – how to parent a strong willed / controlling child than anything else! There is probably no parent out there who has not had a run in with control in some way shape or form, but for some, the levels of control is over-whelming.  So, how do you parent a strong willed, controlling child? In order to understand the patterns of control, we have to dig a little deeper and understand why they might be there. With the best of intentions, because we all want what is best for our child, we turn to control under the clever disguise of: “my child need’s me to do it”, “this is best for my child”, “this will protect my child”, “this makes it easier for my child”. Control wears many hats… We do it to avoid discomfort for ourselves and for our child and we do it because we fear of what might happen if we don’t. “If I don’t do his laces up for him, we are going to be late…”  “If I don’t do his homework for him, he will never finish it…” “If I don’t force him to practice his …Read more →

Busy, Over-Whelmed and Exhausted?

Aren’t you tired of being busy, over-whelmed and exhausted? There are times when I feel this way, but when I do, I now know exactly what I can do to shift me out of it and I want to share it with you. It’s so simple… Speaking to my friends, it would seem that many of us are in the same boat. I think that there used to be a time in my life where I was nicely busy, just busy enough! At certain times of the year, particularly the end of the school year or the run up to Christmas I knew I would get really busy, it was a given and I just accepted it as being the way it was. I don’t know about you, but for me it now seems that every day feels more like that time of the year. It’s a bit like the VISA bills. There used to be a time where the big ones were anticipated at certain times of the year but now every month is a big one! It seems like it’s almost become to norm to be busy, over-whelmed and exhausted. Moms wear the “busy badge” like it’s a …Read more →

How To Upgrade Your Parenting

  I had the privilege of attending a parenting event run by Dr Shefali Tsabary, the author of “The Conscious Parent”. It was incredible. Transformational would be an understatement. She runs this 3 day weekend every year. It’s called EVOLVE and evolve you will! This is how to upgrade your parenting. Evolve will be held from October 26-29th, 2018 in Long Beach, LA, California. If you haven’t heard of this amazing parenting expert – Oprah says she her work is revolutionary for parents today, you should check her out. The word “conscious” can be a bit intimidating to many, I get it. It can seem a bit woowoo or out there, but I can assure you that this platform is anything but out there. It is so bang on the buck and what parents are searching for. Consider yourself lucky – you have found it! Welcome, your parenting life will be forever positively changed. This is how to upgrade your parenting! Step 1: Shift Your Perspective And Traditional View Of Parenting Dr Shefali is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me:  My children are my greatest teachers – if I …Read more →

How To Get Your Child To Listen

Do you remember hearing the older generation referring to children as being seen but not heard? I do! I remember it well. I also remember my parents saying things like: “Do as I say, not as I do” and “One day when you are older, I’ll tell you”. I could never understand it. It never sat well with me. But I didn’t question it. None of us did. I listened. And for the most part, I did what I was told! I was not alone. I was no different to any of my friends. We were all in the same boat. We obeyed and complied for fear of the punishment that might follow if we didn’t. We all beat to the same drum. The same “fear” drum my parents beat to when they were young and the one their parents beat to as well. The same script. The same prescription. Dr Shefali Tsabary describes it as the Kool-Aid. They all drank the Kool-Aid and didn’t question it. It was the way of it. It was just how things were. Wind the clock forward and fortunately, for the main part, this generation of parents at least recognizes the utter ridiculousness of …Read more →

How To Be A Better Parent

As a mum of three teenagers (and a Parent Coach) I’ve read more parenting books than you could imagine, I devour them. However, one book stopped me in my tracks. It was different. It resonated with me on a deep, deep level. Whilst reading this book I woke up to my biggest parenting mistakes. What was the book, I hear you ask: The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary – have you read it? It totally changed my life. And, it totally transformed my life as a parent. You see, up until that point, I had been parenting from the outside in. I saw my children as the ones who needed to get in line and get their acts together. I will admit that I was trying to “fix” them. And, add to this, I was resisting the reality that was my life as a parent. There seemed to be nothing but challenges and conflict. NOTHING. EVER. CHANGED. Dr Shefali Tsabary is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but was also mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me: My children are my greatest teachers – if I allow them My children will guide and teach me to …Read more →

Don’t Judge A Person By Their Cover

For those of you who have been following my Facebook LIVES, you will know that I am currently reading “Judgment Detox” by Gabrielle Bernstein. It is proving to be a very thought provoking and worthwhile read. And it is helping me soooo much as a parent. No matter how big or small, whatever way you look at it, judgment is judgment. And it is toxic. I talked about this in my Mindful Monday, Facebook LIVE today. I have been decoding and deciphering my judgment and trying to understand just why I do it, why it is so seductive and destructive. It has been so helpful. Why do I do it? I judge or make an assumption about something or someone in order to try and understand it or them. I NEED to understand in order to feel in control because not knowing is a highly uncomfortable and vulnerable place to be. I think that as parents, it is something we all fall into the trap of doing. We judge. Why we do it will be different for all of us. But, I can almost guarantee that if you are a parent reading this, that you will, in some way shape …Read more →

Dirty Dishes…

It’s Saturday morning and I have the house to myself. I am not usually at home on a Saturday morning in December so it is a real treat. It is quiet. It is peaceful. And it is awesome. I am so grateful for this time. And if you are a mom reading this, I know you get this. Big time! As I glanced at the dirty dishes pleading to be dealt with from their place in the sink, they so nearly got the better of me. But I knew that doing them would invariably lead to other things: laundry, tidying up and all the rest… Above all, I knew that doing the dirty dishes first would strip me from relishing in the peace that the quiet house was giving me. The dirty dishes could wait and as I share this with you, I am so happy for my decision. Instead I wandered over the window and saw that it was snowing. Mother Nature was laying a pure white blanket on everything I could see. The stillness was palpable. Each unique white snowflake was fluttering and drifting down from the sky, finding its way to its final resting place and contributing to …Read more →

The Pace Of Life Is Just Too Fast

When my kids were younger, I was definitely parenting from the fast lane but doing my best.  I was no different from any of the other mums I hung out with. Looking back, if I’m honest, I was “just” coping, my head was just above the water. I was always on the run, very reactive to life and certainly not very conscious or mindful.  I was on auto-pilot and my mind was FULL! Luckily for me, through yoga, I stumbled upon meditation and was drawn to it. I was intrigued. I discussed this in the first blog of this series – Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool. My yoga teacher seemed so Zen, yet so real. She also had young kids but I particularly loved the way in which she responded to and interacted with life. She just had a way about her. Was it down to her meditation practice? I didn’t know. Wind the clock forward 10 years and I think that a lot of it was/is down to just that. Everyone I know who meditates, seems to be able to take life better in their stride and at a pace more compatible to enjoying life, especially as a parent. …Read more →

OMG – I Cannot Believe That My Teenager Just Said That To Me!

Many parents express concern regarding how to best communicate with their teen and more importantly how to respond to them and the teenage “ways”. It seems that all teenagers exhibit the same symptoms! Rude at times Disrespectful at times They know it all Disregarding of almost all advice Impulsive Reactive and explosive, often over seemingly N-O-T-H-I-N-G Convoluted plans Emotional rollercoasters Do teenagers collaborate with each other on how to best deal their parents a healthy dose of “teen”? Who wrote their “How To Be A Teenager Guide” anyway? And, had I ever stopped to think that perhaps I might have… haha! The common thread seems to be this: Nothing we do as parents seems right to our teens We are losers We know nothing, they know everything They are masters in dishing out stinging, biting comments with a good dash of rudeness and disrespect As parents, we are often left reeling and thinking: “How can this child be ours?” We like to think that we had taught him / her all there is to know about manners and respect… More often than not, the answer to this is, “You did!” “So why then has our lovely child turned into this …Read more →