We live in such “praizy” (praise and crazy) times it is important that we recognize the ill effects of too much praise on our children. How many times do we hear “Wow, good job”, “You are so clever”, “That’s an amazing painting, “You are a such great artist”. “I am so proud of you”. Phrases full of praise like these are used so frequently that they almost lose their meaning. Children then become dependent on them in order to feel good about themselves. “If we’re going to bring out the best in people, we, too, need to sow seeds of encouragement” – Joel Osteen “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water” – Rudolph Dreikurs What’s the difference between Encouragement and Praise? Encouragement means: to put courage in, to inspire Encouragement makes one feel good about oneself and therefore believe in oneself as it comes from within – it is an internal motivator Encouragement helps build self-esteem and self-confidence Encouragement focuses on how you get there ie. on the effort, improvement, journey and process Praise means: to speak highly of, to commend, to glorify Praise tends to focus on the end result Praise is positive judgment coming from the …Read more →
Category Archives: Encouragement
ENCOURAGEMENT & PRAISE – WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
In an earlier blog, I discussed “Encouraging your Child”. In this blog, I will look at highlighting the differences between encouragement and praise and the effects of each on your child. We live in such a “praizy” (praise and crazy) society it is important that we recognize the ill effects of too much praise on our children. How many times do we hear “Wow, good job”, “You are so clever”, “That’s an amazing painting, you are a such great artist”. “I am so proud of you”. Phrases full of praise like these are used so frequently that they can almost lose their meaning. “If we’re going to bring out the best in people, we, too, need to sow seeds of encouragement” – Joel Osteen “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water” – Rudolph Dreikurs The Differences between Encouragement and Praise Encouragement means: to put courage in, to inspire Encouragement makes one feel good about oneself and therefore believe in oneself as it comes from within – it is an internal motivator Encouragement helps build self-esteem and self-confidence Encouragement focuses on how you get there ie. on the effort, improvement and process Praise means: to speak highly of, to …Read more →
Encouraging your Child
One of the most important things you can give your child is encouragement. It will give them courage to cope with what comes their way. It can be especially difficult to do in the face of challenges like behavior problems but in itself holds the key to solving many of them. It is a powerful parenting tool. “Children need encouragement like a plant need water” – Rudolph Dreikurs Use encouraging language – avoid the use of praise Be enthusiastic – focus on strengths and assets Recognize effort and improvement: Describe rather than evaluate Be non-judgmental – “notice”: By noticing, you make it easier not to praise because it automatically takes any judgment out of it Separate the Deed from the Do-er: ie. “I love you, I do not love the behavior” Use the right tone of voice: enthusiastic, humor Ask for demonstrations: It forces your child to think about it, do it and then feel good about it Ask Questions: How do you feel about it? Invite self reflection Be a good listener: Listen when you can rather than doing all the talking Encourage your child to talk Give Choices This forces your child to think about it and take …Read more →
