I vividly remember my first yoga class. It was 10 years ago and I was slightly apprehensive. I was stepping into unknown territory. Despite my mind being open and flexible to something new, I knew my body to be less than flexible. Little did I realize then, that meditation was going to become my most powerful parenting tool. Suffice to say I got through the class and enjoyed it. I actually really enjoyed it. However, when it came to the Shavasana / Savasana part, I have to admit to being totally lost! Lost but hooked! I’d heard of meditation but I had no clue as to what it was or how you were supposed to do it! Didn’t you just shut your eyes and try to relax? I didn’t know that you ended a yoga practice with a meditation! After the class finished a friend who was laying on the mat beside me said: “Oh I just love Shavasana. I am either out for the count or I get all my lists done for the day. It’s awesome!”. “Is this it?” I thought. “Is this what meditation is?” Something told me not… 10 years later, 100’s of yoga classes later, Mindfulness …Read more →
Category Archives: Mindfulness
How To Be A Better Parent
As a mum of three teenagers (and a Parent Coach) I’ve read more parenting books than you could imagine, I devour them. However, one book stopped me in my tracks. It was different. It resonated with me on a deep, deep level. Whilst reading this book I woke up to my biggest parenting mistakes. What was the book, I hear you ask: The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary – have you read it? It totally changed my life. And, it totally transformed my life as a parent. You see, up until that point, I had been parenting from the outside in. I saw my children as the ones who needed to get in line and get their acts together. I will admit that I was trying to “fix” them. And, add to this, I was resisting the reality that was my life as a parent. There seemed to be nothing but challenges and conflict. NOTHING. EVER. CHANGED. Dr Shefali Tsabary is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but was also mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me: My children are my greatest teachers – if I allow them My children will guide and teach me to …Read more →
Why Judgment Is So Toxic In Our Parenting
I recently read a book called “Judgment Detox” by Gabrielle Bernstein and it was thought-provoking and a worthwhile read, especially from a parenting perspective. No matter how big or small, whatever way you look at it, judgment is judgment. And when it shows up in our parenting it is toxic. It never bodes well. Since reading this book, I have been decoding and deciphering my judgment and trying to understand just why I do it, why it is so seductive and destructive. It has been so helpful. Why do I do it? I judge or make an assumption about something or someone in order to try and understand it or them. I NEED to understand something in order to feel in control because not knowing is a highly uncomfortable and vulnerable place to be. I think that as parents, it is something we all fall into the trap of doing. We judge. Why we do it will be different for all of us. But, I can almost guarantee that if you are a parent reading this, that you will, in some way shape or form, judge your kids! What do I do and how does judgment come into play? I make an …Read more →
Dirty Dishes…
It’s Saturday morning and I have the house to myself. I am not usually at home on a Saturday morning in December so it is a real treat. It is quiet. It is peaceful. And it is awesome. I am so grateful for this time. And if you are a mom reading this, I know you get this. Big time! As I glanced at the dirty dishes pleading to be dealt with from their place in the sink, they so nearly got the better of me. But I knew that doing them would invariably lead to other things: laundry, tidying up and all the rest… Above all, I knew that doing the dirty dishes first would strip me from relishing in the peace that the quiet house was giving me. The dirty dishes could wait and as I share this with you, I am so happy for my decision. Instead I wandered over the window and saw that it was snowing. Mother Nature was laying a pure white blanket on everything I could see. The stillness was palpable. Each unique white snowflake was fluttering and drifting down from the sky, finding its way to its final resting place and contributing to …Read more →
The Pace Of Life Is Just Too Fast
When my kids were younger, I was definitely parenting from the fast lane but doing my best. I was no different from any of the other mums I hung out with. Looking back, if I’m honest, I was “just” coping, my head was just above the water. I was always on the run, very reactive to life and certainly not very conscious or mindful. I was on auto-pilot and my mind was FULL! Luckily for me, through yoga, I stumbled upon meditation and was drawn to it. I was intrigued. I discussed this in the first blog of this series – Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool. My yoga teacher seemed so Zen, yet so real. She also had young kids but I particularly loved the way in which she responded to and interacted with life. She just had a way about her. Was it down to her meditation practice? I didn’t know. Wind the clock forward 10 years and I think that a lot of it was/is down to just that. Everyone I know who meditates, seems to be able to take life better in their stride and at a pace more compatible to enjoying life, especially as a parent. …Read more →
You Too Can Live Further From The Edge
As a parent coach, parent’s bravely and vulnerably share their parenting struggles and challenges with me. Almost always, they have one thing in common: They think that they can control and change their child’s behaviour only to find that they can’t. They get more and more frustrated when their child’s unacceptable behaviour persists. This behaviour triggers them so much that they find themselves living on the edge of breaking point. It really gets them down. It is threatening the relationship they have with their child. And they are exhausted. Sound familiar? I ask them all this question: Do you really believe that you can change your child’s behaviour? I gently and compassionately help them realize that they can’t. It’s tough. No matter how hard we might try, we cannot force another person to change. In fact, the more we push and try, the worse it usually gets. We find ourselves precariously close to the edge or worse still, over it. At the end of the day the only real thing we can change and control is ourselves. Or so we like to think… But let’s be really honest here: most of us will have had our fair share of parent …Read more →
Make Your Breath Your BFF
In last week’s blog post, You Have What You Need… You Just Don’t Know It, I discussed how I meditate. Big picture. There are many different ways in which to meditate: Using the Breath, TM Meditation uses a mantra, there is sound meditation and walking meditation to name but a few. I choose to use my breath. Before I started using my breath to meditate, I simply thought of my breath as being the means to breathe and stay alive! Oh-my-goodness, have I come to appreciate just how much more there is to my breath? It is so much more than just air! It mirrors the cyclical nature of life itself; it has a beginning, a middle and an end. It rises within me and fades to nothing just like a wave kissing the sand. It is my anchor to presence. It connects the internal with the external. It connects me to the air I need. We all breath from the same ONE air, it therefore exemplifies the fact we are “One”. It is with me wherever I am, so I can tune into it at any moment. It is mesmerizing. Hypnotic. It is endless yet it is finite. It …Read more →
The Power Of Meditating On The Breath For Parents
I hope that you managed to read last week’s blog, Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool – It’s Not What You Think? I know that it might sound strange but, honestly, I believe that your breath and your awareness ARE your most powerful parenting tools! Yes, you read it correctly: your BREATH and your AWARENESS! In the blog, I mentioned that people are always very curious as to why and how this can be and it guides me to discuss the subject of mindfulness and meditation because this is the place where it all happens. I get asked lots of questions. I love it. Questions that I am sure many of you reading this might also have: HOW do you meditate? Where do you meditate? Why do you meditate? Do you have a special place where you meditate? How long do you meditate for? When do you meditate? In Episode 44 of my podcast, I talk you through how you can start to meditate, what you will do and what might happen when you start. We all like to know what to expect, so this is what to expect! At the 4.5 minute mark, I take you through a 2 minute guided meditation, …Read more →
What My 10 Year Old Son Taught Me Totally Blew Me Away
I woke up last Monday morning and knew that the day had finally come. I had an important call to make. I was both excited and anxious about it. I made myself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch. As it was the first day of summer holidays my 10 year old son sat down beside me. We were chatting and I explained to him that I was a bit nervous about my call later that day. “What do you do when you feel nervous?” I asked him. “Okay” he said, “This is what I do Mom.” “First of all, I think of kind, happy, nice things. I think of friendly things and I say to myself: ‘I can do this’” He then told me about the Mindfulness work he does at school and how it can help him, especially if and when he is nervous. “Oh” I said, “What did you do in your Mindfulness Class?” “Well we all sit on the mat in a circle, cross legged with our hands on our thighs. We close our eyes.” “The teacher smacks (loved his choice of word here!) his chime and I have to watch the noise. …Read more →
MINDFULNESS in CHILDREN
What better gift can you give your children than the ability to be able to face fears, problems, concerns, stresses and be able to deal with them and regulate their emotions. Mindfulness training can give children coping mechanisms and tools to do just this and take care of themselves in a variety of situations whether it be to manage anxiety for a test, deal with conflict, needing to calm down or needing to find courage to try something new to name but a few. Definition: “Mindfulness involves learning to be able to direct our attention to our experience as it unfolds moment by moment with open-minded curiosity and acceptance. Rather than worrying about what has happened or what might happen, it trains us to respond skillfully to whatever is happening right now, whether that be good or bad”. Mindfulness in Schools Organization Over the years I’d like to say that we have all become much more aware and educated regarding looking after our health. However, I feel that a big piece many of us are perhaps still missing is giving ourselves the time for stillness and silence in our lives. Our lives are becoming increasingly busy and more demanding with …Read more →
