I vividly remember my first yoga class. It was 10 years ago and I was slightly apprehensive. I was stepping into unknown territory. Despite my mind being open and flexible to something new, I knew my body to be less than flexible. Little did I realize then, that meditation was going to become my most powerful parenting tool. Suffice to say I got through the class and enjoyed it. I actually really enjoyed it. However, when it came to the Shavasana / Savasana part, I have to admit to being totally lost! Lost but hooked! I’d heard of meditation but I had no clue as to what it was or how you were supposed to do it! Didn’t you just shut your eyes and try to relax? I didn’t know that you ended a yoga practice with a meditation! After the class finished a friend who was laying on the mat beside me said: “Oh I just love Shavasana. I am either out for the count or I get all my lists done for the day. It’s awesome!”. “Is this it?” I thought. “Is this what meditation is?” Something told me not… 10 years later, 100’s of yoga classes later, Mindfulness …Read more →
Category Archives: Self-Care
The Pace Of Life Is Just Too Fast
When my kids were younger, I was definitely parenting from the fast lane but doing my best. I was no different from any of the other mums I hung out with. Looking back, if I’m honest, I was “just” coping, my head was just above the water. I was always on the run, very reactive to life and certainly not very conscious or mindful. I was on auto-pilot and my mind was FULL! Luckily for me, through yoga, I stumbled upon meditation and was drawn to it. I was intrigued. I discussed this in the first blog of this series – Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool. My yoga teacher seemed so Zen, yet so real. She also had young kids but I particularly loved the way in which she responded to and interacted with life. She just had a way about her. Was it down to her meditation practice? I didn’t know. Wind the clock forward 10 years and I think that a lot of it was/is down to just that. Everyone I know who meditates, seems to be able to take life better in their stride and at a pace more compatible to enjoying life, especially as a parent. …Read more →
You Too Can Live Further From The Edge
As a parent coach, parent’s bravely and vulnerably share their parenting struggles and challenges with me. Almost always, they have one thing in common: They think that they can control and change their child’s behaviour only to find that they can’t. They get more and more frustrated when their child’s unacceptable behaviour persists. This behaviour triggers them so much that they find themselves living on the edge of breaking point. It really gets them down. It is threatening the relationship they have with their child. And they are exhausted. Sound familiar? I ask them all this question: Do you really believe that you can change your child’s behaviour? I gently and compassionately help them realize that they can’t. It’s tough. No matter how hard we might try, we cannot force another person to change. In fact, the more we push and try, the worse it usually gets. We find ourselves precariously close to the edge or worse still, over it. At the end of the day the only real thing we can change and control is ourselves. Or so we like to think… But let’s be really honest here: most of us will have had our fair share of parent …Read more →
Make Your Breath Your BFF
In last week’s blog post, You Have What You Need… You Just Don’t Know It, I discussed how I meditate. Big picture. There are many different ways in which to meditate: Using the Breath, TM Meditation uses a mantra, there is sound meditation and walking meditation to name but a few. I choose to use my breath. Before I started using my breath to meditate, I simply thought of my breath as being the means to breathe and stay alive! Oh-my-goodness, have I come to appreciate just how much more there is to my breath? It is so much more than just air! It mirrors the cyclical nature of life itself; it has a beginning, a middle and an end. It rises within me and fades to nothing just like a wave kissing the sand. It is my anchor to presence. It connects the internal with the external. It connects me to the air I need. We all breath from the same ONE air, it therefore exemplifies the fact we are “One”. It is with me wherever I am, so I can tune into it at any moment. It is mesmerizing. Hypnotic. It is endless yet it is finite. It …Read more →
The Power Of Meditating On The Breath For Parents
I hope that you managed to read last week’s blog, Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool – It’s Not What You Think? I know that it might sound strange but, honestly, I believe that your breath and your awareness ARE your most powerful parenting tools! Yes, you read it correctly: your BREATH and your AWARENESS! In the blog, I mentioned that people are always very curious as to why and how this can be and it guides me to discuss the subject of mindfulness and meditation because this is the place where it all happens. I get asked lots of questions. I love it. Questions that I am sure many of you reading this might also have: HOW do you meditate? Where do you meditate? Why do you meditate? Do you have a special place where you meditate? How long do you meditate for? When do you meditate? In Episode 44 of my podcast, I talk you through how you can start to meditate, what you will do and what might happen when you start. We all like to know what to expect, so this is what to expect! At the 4.5 minute mark, I take you through a 2 minute guided meditation, …Read more →
Back To School – Back To YOU!
Here on the West coast of Canada, many of us are on the “Back To School” countdown. My kids have 10 days of holidays left. That means that I have 9 days to prepare for it! The lists keep growing and as much as I don’t want the holidays to end, deep down, I know I am ready to get back into my full work rhythm. However, if I am not careful, I can get totally lost and submerged in all the busyness. This is exactly why the September theme in The Conscious Family Organizer is Fresh Start. During the summer holidays, as much as it has been good to be off the grid, we have not usually had much time to ourselves and have kind of got used to it? Yes? Come September, this is not the best place to find ourselves… We get by on less time to ourselves during the holidays because it is the “holidays”. However, now that the holidays are coming to an end, “time for you” needs a jump start to get you off to a fresh start. If you leave it as it is, trust me, the next few months will come and …Read more →
Need Some Energy?
My kids are currently on their Spring Break vacation. I work from home and we are all at home for the holiday. From years of Spring Breaks, I also know that by the end of them, if I don’t parent well, fix up my act and get it right, I have been known to morph into some form of deranged beast! Why? I get tired from nagging. Tired from entering into the arguments. And tired from not having done enough for myself and/or had enough time to myself. The 8 words below have become my best friends. They always help preserve my energy, my sanity, allow me to work from home AND enjoy the holidays: Stay Calm In The Heat Of The Moment Think back to a time you had a disagreement with one of your children: What was it over? ………….. Probably something small and not worth the argument! How quickly did you get drawn in? ………………. So fast you were in before you even knew it! How did you feel during the argument? ………………… Probably awful! How did you feel after it? ………………….. Guilty, exhausted and even worse because you acted just like your child and you are …Read more →
Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
For me, around now, with the Halloween festivities been and gone, life can start to feel full. I use the word full over busy because I feel it is a less overwhelming perspective! I was chatting to some moms the other night and many of them are feeling similarly and in need of a break. Here’s the reality: If we are feeling this way, the chances are that our kids will be feeling it too. I know that my kids are. There’s more complaining about things and having to go out again. And compared to many, mine really don’t do a lot. With this in mind, I thought that the perfect theme for November would be to find ways to slow down. Taking regular speed checks in order to slow life down to a more compatible pace is a good thing. I think this has to also extend beyond simply slowing our external lives down, to include finding ways to slow our minds down. The mental clutter and constant chatter can be draining. That’s going to be the focus for next week’s “Parenting Tip Of The Week”. Stay tuned. One of my favourite external speed check interventions is going for …Read more →
Back To School, It’s Time For YOU?
The kids are back to school and it’s busy… Every year I expect that somehow life will instantaneously and miraculously become easier because the kids are out the house and back at school but it never seems to work out that way! There is so much to do, arrange, organize, buy, set up. The list just never gets shorter. Add to this, for many of us, the schedules then kick in and the driving starts and it can leave us feeling with that urrrggghhhhh feeling all over again. At this time of the year, if we are not careful, WE can get lost in all the busyness. So, with that said, the theme for this month is going to be on how you can create some space for YOU. In order to be on top of our game, both for ourselves and for our children, we have to give to ourselves. I know, you hear “self-care” all the time these days and you know that you should do it, but how many of us actually commit to it? We need to pay attention to this. We need to be aware of how WE are, what we are doing, how much …Read more →
BACK TO SCHOOL – CHECK IN
FLIGHT #BC 123 DEP: HOME 0800hrs ARR: SCHOOL 0830hrs – NOW BOARDING Last year I posted a very popular blog on how to foster resilience (R) in our children. I thought I would revisit the topic because so many of our parenting tools come back to this R; being able to bounce back, having the courage to try again, picking yourself up after failure, to keep trying and keep putting effort into things. With schools being back, it is definitely time to check in, set some limits and boundaries and revisit many of the parenting tools. Bed times have become later, routine is long gone and it’s hard to get them back on track. Asides from your sanity, there are many other reasons why it is so important. Limits, boundaries and consequences are all positive forms of discipline, which, when offered non-punitively, in the context of respect, are one of the highest forms of love. So what’s the link between boundaries, limits, consequences and resilience and what’s love got to do with it? Parenting Tool Checklist: “Connect, Connect and Connect, preserve the relationship” – Check “Encourage, don’t praise” – Check “Use Consequences” – Check “Be Consistent, Kind and Firm” – Check …Read more →
