In a previous post, I discussed the relationship between boundaries and respect. The two are so closely related to each other that if you haven’t read it, I suggest you read it before going any further. You can find it HERE It’s called: One Of The Most Important Parenting Skills Required Today. Suffice to say that if you are feeling disrespected, you are not alone but you probably think that it is others in your life that are causing you the disrespect you feel? Yes? It might not be that simple! Stick with me here, it will soon become much clearer. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to get it right. You know you should be able to set effective boundaries and hold the limits around screen time AND other things too, but as hard as you try, more often than not, the boundary you set is ineffective. You say YES when you know you should say NO. You say NO and wonder why you did! The pushback you get from your child causes you to either cave or put your foot down too hard. You don’t listen to what it is you really need and don’t …Read more →
Category Archives: Setting Limits
One Of The Most Important Parenting Skills Required Today
One of the most important parenting skills required today is the ability to set boundaries and hold the limits. In order to do this well, it is vitally important that you understand the relationship between boundaries and respect. Stay with me here, all will become clear. Boundaries and respect. Respect and boundaries. Chicken or the egg? Why are we talking about respect, I want to create killer boundaries around screen time and other things! I bet you’ve never really thought about respect and boundaries in the same breath. Believe me, neither had I! However, it is only when you understand the close relationship between these two things, that you will be able to shift from being so-so at setting boundaries and crap at holding the limits to being good at setting boundaries and kickass good at holding the limits. Boundaries alone are not enough. I’m going to generalize here, but, most of us moms are not bad at setting “the boundary” ie. saying what needs to be done. But sadly that’s often where it ends! It’s the next piece that gets us: we are not so great at holding the limits. You know the story, as soon as you …Read more →
The Pace Of Life Is Just Too Fast
When my kids were younger, I was definitely parenting from the fast lane but doing my best. I was no different from any of the other mums I hung out with. Looking back, if I’m honest, I was “just” coping, my head was just above the water. I was always on the run, very reactive to life and certainly not very conscious or mindful. I was on auto-pilot and my mind was FULL! Luckily for me, through yoga, I stumbled upon meditation and was drawn to it. I was intrigued. I discussed this in the first blog of this series – Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool. My yoga teacher seemed so Zen, yet so real. She also had young kids but I particularly loved the way in which she responded to and interacted with life. She just had a way about her. Was it down to her meditation practice? I didn’t know. Wind the clock forward 10 years and I think that a lot of it was/is down to just that. Everyone I know who meditates, seems to be able to take life better in their stride and at a pace more compatible to enjoying life, especially as a parent. …Read more →
You Too Can Live Further From The Edge
As a parent coach, parent’s bravely and vulnerably share their parenting struggles and challenges with me. Almost always, they have one thing in common: They think that they can control and change their child’s behaviour only to find that they can’t. They get more and more frustrated when their child’s unacceptable behaviour persists. This behaviour triggers them so much that they find themselves living on the edge of breaking point. It really gets them down. It is threatening the relationship they have with their child. And they are exhausted. Sound familiar? I ask them all this question: Do you really believe that you can change your child’s behaviour? I gently and compassionately help them realize that they can’t. It’s tough. No matter how hard we might try, we cannot force another person to change. In fact, the more we push and try, the worse it usually gets. We find ourselves precariously close to the edge or worse still, over it. At the end of the day the only real thing we can change and control is ourselves. Or so we like to think… But let’s be really honest here: most of us will have had our fair share of parent …Read more →
Back To School – Back To YOU!
Here on the West coast of Canada, many of us are on the “Back To School” countdown. My kids have 10 days of holidays left. That means that I have 9 days to prepare for it! The lists keep growing and as much as I don’t want the holidays to end, deep down, I know I am ready to get back into my full work rhythm. However, if I am not careful, I can get totally lost and submerged in all the busyness. This is exactly why the September theme in The Conscious Family Organizer is Fresh Start. During the summer holidays, as much as it has been good to be off the grid, we have not usually had much time to ourselves and have kind of got used to it? Yes? Come September, this is not the best place to find ourselves… We get by on less time to ourselves during the holidays because it is the “holidays”. However, now that the holidays are coming to an end, “time for you” needs a jump start to get you off to a fresh start. If you leave it as it is, trust me, the next few months will come and …Read more →
How To Juggle Work And Play While The Kids Are On Holiday
The summer holidays can be tough for Moms because quite literally over-night we go from having six hours of so called ‘free’ time to having none! I remember before I had kids of my own I wondered what on earth stay at home moms did all day while their kids were at school – how dare I have had those thoughts! It’s only when you have kids of your own do you really fully understand the commitment, dedication and time required of Moms. And with the turn of that switch and the summer holidays suddenly upon us, thinking about how we are going to get it all done can be a daunting thought. I am by nature a fairly organized person and am structured with my approach to getting things done around the house. Knowing this has definitely helped me get through those days where the kids are at home wanting to be with me whilst at the same time I have work to do. Through trial and error, and a serious refining and tuning of my parenting skills, I have found a way to make this work for me AND for my kids. I want to help you do …Read more →
Re-Energize your Parenting with “The Summer Parenting Cleanse”
Whilst I can’t wait for those long, lazy, hazy days of summer, the lingering smell of sunscreen in the air, a never ending pile of flip flops (how can we have so many?), trips to the beach, back yard slip and slides and lazing around relishing the fact that there is little to rush to, I have to be honest and admit to being just a little bit worried about it. As much as I love the spontaneity; the wing it, whatever, sure, what will be will be days, I am a working Mom, I work from home and with the holidays on the horizon, I do get a bit stressed thinking about how I am going to juggle it all! If this resonates with you and you are wondering how you are going to get it all done, I am here to help you. Despite my worries (I can’t help it, I’m a Mom) I do know how I am going to do it, I know what has to be done and I also know what works. I am equipped with the parenting tools I need that allow me to balance work and play and over the course of …Read more →
THE BENEFITS OF SETTING LIMITS
It’s been two weeks since Spring Break and in our house, some of the limits and boundaries that lapsed (as they tend to) during the holidays are still lapsed! I notice it, my children notice it and my sanity, or perhaps lack thereof, certainly notices it. Bedtime springs to mind……. It is a firm belief of mine that children need limits and boundaries because they are essential to healthy emotional development and well-being. Parents tend to set limits around things that reflect values. For example: If your children getting plenty of sleep and being well rested is a value to you, you are more likely to set limits around bed times If eating meals together as a family is important to you, then you are more likely to set limits to ensure that you have family meals together If your kids spend lots of time playing games on their devices and you don’t like it or value it, you are more likely to set limits on screen time Having limits helps to guide our children, offer them a sense of security and comfort and teach them to develop the capacity to be able to live within them, a very basic …Read more →
