Category Archives: Transform Your Parenting

The Most Important Parenting Skill Required Today

  The most important parenting skill required today is the ability to set boundaries and hold the limits. In order to do this well, it is vitally important that you understand the relationship between boundaries and respect. Stay with me here, all will become clear. Boundaries and respect. Respect and boundaries. Chicken or the egg? Why are we talking about respect, I want to create killer boundaries around screen time and other things! I bet you’ve never really thought about respect and boundaries in the same breath. Believe me, neither had I! However, it is only when you understand the close relationship between these two things, that you will be able to shift from being so-so at setting boundaries and crap at holding the limits to being good at setting boundaries and kickass good at holding the limits. Boundaries alone are not enough. I’m going to generalize here, but, most of us moms are not bad at setting “the boundary” ie. saying what needs to be done. But sadly that’s often where it ends! It’s the next piece that gets us: we are not so great at holding the limits. You know the story, as soon as you get the …Read more →

How To Stop Your Kids Interrupting You

In the first of my Badass Moms Guide To Parenting Series, I discussed three things that you really need to get in place in order to more effectively deal with things like your kids interrupting you. We first need to see our life AS IT IS in order to identify any parts of it that may need changing. Very often, our struggles and challenges, come from us being over-whelmed and having just too much on our plates. As such, we have to learn to prioritize what’s most important, focus on that and then add in the extra’s. I discussed this in detail in the first blog in this new series. >>> click HERE to access: How To Be A Badass Mom >>> In this second blog post in the series, I am going to help you develop some Badass Interruption Strategies! It is easy to see that when we are operating from a place of general over-whelm, dealing with the routine things that kids do, like interrupting, being disrespectful, not listening, leaving their sh*t all over the house, can cause us to snap. It becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back when really it shouldn’t. And let’s not forget …Read more →

How To Be A Badass MOM

You might be reading this thinking “How To Be A Badass MOM” – what’s that? You might not able to visualise yourself as being badass enough or badass at all? I can assure you that if you are a mom, you can be badass. And there are times when it definitely helps to be badass! Are you tired of feeling frustrated and over-whelmed? Negotiating, arguing, nagging and cajoling? Kids being on their devices All.The.Time? Kiddos not listening? Going to bed too late? Rushing around All.The.Time? Tired. Tired. YES? If you want to do something about it, you are in the right place. I can help you. Stay with me here. As you will see, by the end of this post, it will come full circle, I promise!! My three favourite words are: Badass. Un-aba-shed. Serendipity. And I’m going to share with you where they all fit in: If you are tired of feeling frustrated and over-whelmed, only you can change it, and change it you can but you are going to have to be UN-ABA-SHED-LY BADASS in your commitment to doing so. If I did, you can too. However, before I go any further, I need to make sure we …Read more →

How To Parent A Strong Willed / Controlling Child

As a Parent Coach, I get more questions on – how to parent a strong willed / controlling child than anything else! There is probably no parent out there who has not had a run in with control in some way shape or form, but for some, the levels of control is over-whelming.  So, how do you parent a strong willed, controlling child? In order to understand the patterns of control, we have to dig a little deeper and understand why they might be there. With the best of intentions, because we all want what is best for our child, we turn to control under the clever disguise of: “my child need’s me to do it”, “this is best for my child”, “this will protect my child”, “this makes it easier for my child”. Control wears many hats… We do it to avoid discomfort for ourselves and for our child and we do it because we fear of what might happen if we don’t. “If I don’t do his laces up for him, we are going to be late…”  “If I don’t do his homework for him, he will never finish it…” “If I don’t force him to practice his …Read more →

How To Upgrade Your Parenting

  I had the privilege of attending a parenting event run by Dr Shefali Tsabary, the author of “The Conscious Parent”. It was incredible. Transformational would be an understatement. She runs this 3 day weekend every year. It’s called EVOLVE and evolve you will! This is how to upgrade your parenting. Evolve will be held from October 26-29th, 2018 in Long Beach, LA, California. If you haven’t heard of this amazing parenting expert – Oprah says she her work is revolutionary for parents today, you should check her out. The word “conscious” can be a bit intimidating to many, I get it. It can seem a bit woowoo or out there, but I can assure you that this platform is anything but out there. It is so bang on the buck and what parents are searching for. Consider yourself lucky – you have found it! Welcome, your parenting life will be forever positively changed. This is how to upgrade your parenting! Step 1: Shift Your Perspective And Traditional View Of Parenting Dr Shefali is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me:  My children are my greatest teachers – if I …Read more →

How To Get Your Child To Listen

Do you remember hearing the older generation referring to children as being seen but not heard? I do! I remember it well. I also remember my parents saying things like: “Do as I say, not as I do” and “One day when you are older, I’ll tell you”. I could never understand it. It never sat well with me. But I didn’t question it. None of us did. I listened. And for the most part, I did what I was told! I was not alone. I was no different to any of my friends. We were all in the same boat. We obeyed and complied for fear of the punishment that might follow if we didn’t. We all beat to the same drum. The same “fear” drum my parents beat to when they were young and the one their parents beat to as well. The same script. The same prescription. Dr Shefali Tsabary describes it as the Kool-Aid. They all drank the Kool-Aid and didn’t question it. It was the way of it. It was just how things were. Wind the clock forward and fortunately, for the main part, this generation of parents at least recognizes the utter ridiculousness of …Read more →

How To Be A Better Parent

As a mum of three teenagers (and a Parent Coach) I’ve read more parenting books than you could imagine, I devour them. However, one book stopped me in my tracks. It was different. It resonated with me on a deep, deep level. Whilst reading this book I woke up to my biggest parenting mistakes. What was the book, I hear you ask: The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary – have you read it? It totally changed my life. And, it totally transformed my life as a parent. You see, up until that point, I had been parenting from the outside in. I saw my children as the ones who needed to get in line and get their acts together. I will admit that I was trying to “fix” them. And, add to this, I was resisting the reality that was my life as a parent. There seemed to be nothing but challenges and conflict. NOTHING. EVER. CHANGED. Dr Shefali Tsabary is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but was also mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me: My children are my greatest teachers – if I allow them My children will guide and teach me to …Read more →

Don’t Judge A Person By Their Cover

For those of you who have been following my Facebook LIVES, you will know that I am currently reading “Judgment Detox” by Gabrielle Bernstein. It is proving to be a very thought provoking and worthwhile read. And it is helping me soooo much as a parent. No matter how big or small, whatever way you look at it, judgment is judgment. And it is toxic. I talked about this in my Mindful Monday, Facebook LIVE today. I have been decoding and deciphering my judgment and trying to understand just why I do it, why it is so seductive and destructive. It has been so helpful. Why do I do it? I judge or make an assumption about something or someone in order to try and understand it or them. I NEED to understand in order to feel in control because not knowing is a highly uncomfortable and vulnerable place to be. I think that as parents, it is something we all fall into the trap of doing. We judge. Why we do it will be different for all of us. But, I can almost guarantee that if you are a parent reading this, that you will, in some way shape …Read more →

The Pace Of Life Is Just Too Fast

When my kids were younger, I was definitely parenting from the fast lane but doing my best.  I was no different from any of the other mums I hung out with. Looking back, if I’m honest, I was “just” coping, my head was just above the water. I was always on the run, very reactive to life and certainly not very conscious or mindful.  I was on auto-pilot and my mind was FULL! Luckily for me, through yoga, I stumbled upon meditation and was drawn to it. I was intrigued. I discussed this in the first blog of this series – Your Most Powerful Parenting Tool. My yoga teacher seemed so Zen, yet so real. She also had young kids but I particularly loved the way in which she responded to and interacted with life. She just had a way about her. Was it down to her meditation practice? I didn’t know. Wind the clock forward 10 years and I think that a lot of it was/is down to just that. Everyone I know who meditates, seems to be able to take life better in their stride and at a pace more compatible to enjoying life, especially as a parent. …Read more →

You Too Can Live Further From The Edge

As a parent coach, parent’s bravely and vulnerably share their parenting struggles and challenges with me. Almost always, they have one thing in common: They think that they can control and change their child’s behaviour only to find that they can’t. They get more and more frustrated when their child’s unacceptable behaviour persists. This behaviour triggers them so much that they find themselves living on the edge of breaking point. It really gets them down. It is threatening the relationship they have with their child.  And they are exhausted. Sound familiar? I ask them all this question: Do you really believe that you can change your child’s behaviour? I gently and compassionately help them realize that they can’t. It’s tough. No matter how hard we might try, we cannot force another person to change. In fact, the more we push and try, the worse it usually gets. We find ourselves precariously close to the edge or worse still, over it. At the end of the day the only real thing we can change and control is ourselves. Or so we like to think… But let’s be really honest here: most of us will have had our fair share of parent …Read more →