Why is parenting so hard? There are times when it’s so challenging it can leave you at your wits end!
Before we became parents we thought that it looked so easy and wondered what new moms did with all their time… until we were one! We swore that we would never parent our children the way in which we were parented… until we found ourselves triggered by our own child and then guess what?!! We think that we are going to give our children everything we didn’t get but it doesn’t seem work this way. Why? Because we forget to first give ourselves what we need.
Welcome to parenthood!
Why doesn’t it come with a manual with everything we need to know? The books, courses, and podcasts are great but the reality is such that the information doesn’t always translate directly within the context of our own unique situation.
I have designed my coaching program with all of this in mind and believe it is the closest thing to the elusive parenting manual you have been searching for.
When you work with me, you will drive and steer the sessions around the challenges you are facing. As we travel the road together, you will discover a new way of showing up, for you, and your child. Over the course of our sessions together we will cover specific things (see below) which I believe are fundamental to the changes you will want to see take root and grow. This is your journey, your agenda, and I would be humbled and honored to support, guide and lead you to new beginnings.
Patterns
It is important you understand how the way in which you were parented influences the way in which you parent your children. You will learn to uncover and perhaps question the inherited beliefs and parenting patterns that might be tying you to the status quo and actually causing the challenges you face and instead find ways to allow you to parent from authenticity.
Your Triggers
You will discover the real reasons for your triggers (hint: it has nothing to do with your child) and understand why your current parenting methods such as reacting, nagging, yelling, bribing, punishing, grounding, and threatening don’t work. If they worked, you would not be here looking for something that does!
Brain Science
When you can understand why you react the way you do and why your child reacts the way s/he does and can then apply this understanding to decoding their behavior, it will change the way in which you show up for them and you will begin to see the positive influence of doing so in your parenting.
E.Q.
It is only through first developing our own emotional intelligence (EQ) and self-regulation skills that we can then meet our child’s deepest needs. It is through role modeling these vital skills to our children that they will learn how to do this for themselves and develop the emotional literacy skills they need.
Behaviour
Behavior is a means of communication driven by feelings. As such, beneath every behavior is an unmet need. I turn traditional views on how to deal with behavior upside down and inside out to help you find ways to deal with challenging behaviors in a way that helps you meet your child’s needs and preserve your sanity!
Control
When we begin our lives as parents we have full control. However, as our child grows up, it is essential that we recognize where we can start to let go of our control. Learning how to unravel and deal with the toxic cycles of control is paramount to being able to parent well, stay calm and connect to your child’s deepest needs.
Boundaries
Boundaries are quite possibly one of the most important pieces of the parenting puzzle. Parenting without boundaries is essentially parenting without connection because boundaries connect us to our needs. The misunderstandings surrounding boundaries will continue to trip you until you get a grip on them and discover how to set them effectively.
Expectations
Many parents are unaware of just how many expectations they have of their children which causes them and their children to suffer unnecessarily. Expectations do little more than put pressure on our children and sever the connection we have with them. As such it is essential to develop an awareness of them and know what to do instead.
E.S.L.
Encouragement as a Second Language! Understanding the subtle difference between encouragement and praise and making sure you use encouragement over praise is vital to your child’s developing self-esteem. You will learn a whole new language and become aware of the insidious effects of praise.
Together we will work through the steps you need to take to bring about change which will allow you to show up in a way that you will be proud of and in a way that meets your child’s deepest needs. You will learn to raise yourself to be the parent you have always dreamed of being and in doing so will raise a more confident, responsible, courageous, resilient, compassionate, respectful, emotionally connected and amazing young adult of your child. Not only that, you will begin to reinstate the joy and fun in your parenting that you might not have experienced for a very long time.
Are you ready to end the endless cycles of arguing, negotiating, yelling, nagging and fighting? Are you ready to stop having to resort to punishments, threats, time-outs, rewards, grounding and other forms of negative discipline because it’s the only thing you really know? I can help you find much more effective ways to parent your kids. These methods of parenting don’t work anyway because if they did, you wouldn’t be here reading this! Why not call me and we can chat about what you can do. The first 30 minutes is on me!
