Every parent wants to be the best parent. I have yet to meet a parent without the very best of intentions. We all intend to be the best parents we can be. However, over and over again, I see and coach parents who are not very intentional at all!
Are you driving your kids everywhere but find yourself being driven by them? And many times driven up the wall and/or insane! Probably not what you intended?
Are you tired of other people running your life?
Do you want to be in the drivers seat and drive your own life?
Do you want to become more intentional as a Parent?
If so, here’s the plan. It works for me so I’m hoping that it will work for you too.
At this time of the year many of the goals we might have set start to take a back seat, which is why I like to schedule about an hour of time, mid January, to put together a plan to form the foundation for my parenting practice for the year.
I find that this hour really helps to set me up for success. It’s only an hour. I know – it’s so easy to find something else to do. Been there, done that and I’ll spare you the details! Suffice to say, it’s not good…
Here’s what I do:
When I really want to get something like this done, I take myself off to my favorite coffee shop, get myself a nice latte and settle down to new beginnings, to becoming more intentional with my parenting practice.
Armed with a piece of paper and some colored pens (I love color) I write down the following words and try to gain some clarity as to what I want to focus on and practice this year in my parenting. I think of my challenges and which ones I really want to work on. I think about lots of things. Then I start filling it in.
Word of the Year –
Parenting Challenges –
Goals for the Year –
Focus for the Month –
Word of the Month –
Intention for the Week –
Tip of the Week –
Time for You –
When I get home I then sync all of this with my paper calendar. Again, I use bright colors to funk it up a bit. I then put the goal sheet in the back of the calendar in order to revisit them in a few months.
Personally, I prefer to use a paper calendar. That way the whole family can see it, though this does mean that my children can call me on things and hold me accountable – usually a good thing!
“Hey Mom, I thought you said you were going to treat each moment as a new one and you are still harping on about what happened last night…!!!”
You can use a digital calendar but I believe there is something magical about paper that screens can’t replicate. The paper is real, not virtual. The paper is 3D not 2D. The act of physically writing something down by hand is therapeutic. As I scribble and doodle and color I often find myself deep in thoughts, reflecting on things.
After I have done that, I might add my intention for the week. It can be as simple as a word or a quote or phrase. It can be anything as long as it serves to remind you of your call to action. My intention for next week is:
Every moment is a new moment – accept the AS IS of it
Your calendar might end up looking something like this:
You will notice that I use the word PRACTICE when describing my parenting. I like to use that word because it encourages me to see the benefits that practicing things bring me. I find that it helps me to be more patient and compassionate with myself. It helps me be proactive about breaking bad/ old habits that I know do not serve me. It’s a process. It takes time. I have to have goals. It helps me be intentional about the action steps I need to take in order to bring about a desired change.
Parenting is a practice.
Having these words, phrases and comments on my calendar helps keep me in the game.
As part of this “Raising Yourself” Coaching Process, I will check in with you each week via email (provided that you are on the list). I will share with you the Tip of the Week. When you get this, if it resonates with you, I encourage you to write this tip somewhere on your calendar.
Built into these emails will be calls to action for you to highlight and think about your intentions for the next month. At the end of each month I’ll send you some questions to offer you the opportunity for review and reflection.
I’ll be doing it and it’s always nice to know that there are others doing it too. These are just some ideas for you. You might do them all or just some of them – it’s up to you.
I’d like to finish with a quote from a poet Rainer Maria Rilke:
“The answers to your questions will come, but only after you know which ones are worth asking. Wait. Live your questions. Become open to the changes that the answers will inevitably bring. This may take some time, but time is the New Year’s bountiful blessing: 365 mornings and starlit evenings, 52 promising weeks; 12 transformative months full of beautiful promise; and 4 splendid seasons. A simply abundant year to be savored.”
Here’s to our ever evolving journey of “Raising Ourselves” …