How To Upgrade Your Parenting


I had the privilege of attending a parenting event run by Dr Shefali Tsabary, the author of “The Conscious Parent”. It was incredible. Transformational would be an understatement. She runs this 3 day weekend every year. It’s called EVOLVE and evolve you will! This is how to upgrade your parenting. Evolve will be held from October 26-29th, 2018 in Long Beach, LA, California.

If you haven’t heard of this amazing parenting expert – Oprah says she her work is revolutionary for parents today, you should check her out.

The word “conscious” can be a bit intimidating to many, I get it. It can seem a bit woowoo or out there, but I can assure you that this platform is anything but out there. It is so bang on the buck and what parents are searching for. Consider yourself lucky – you have found it!

Welcome, your parenting life will be forever positively changed.

This is how to upgrade your parenting!

Step 1: Shift Your Perspective And Traditional View Of Parenting

Dr Shefali is not only hypnotizingly beautiful, inside and out, but mesmerizingly eloquent and clear with her message to me: 

  • My children are my greatest teachers – if I allow them
  • My children teach me to become what they need me to be
  • I am raising myself to raise my children – I am not raising my children
  • It is not my children who need “fixed” it is me
  • My children respond to me in the only way they know how
  • They respond in a way to meet their needs
  • Parent moment to moment
  • Meet the AS IS of the situation with no judgment or agenda
  • Parent from essence and abundance, not ego and lack

On the cover of this outstanding book, running parallel, in between the words in the title, “The Conscious Parent”, are two, powerful smaller lines of text:

transforming ourselves 

empowering our children

It starts with us. We have to start to look beyond our children. It is, I believe, the only way in which we stand a chance of upgrading our parenting practices.

Step 2: How To Put This New “Way” Into Practice

 “Where do I start? And how can I become more conscious? How do I upgrade my parenting?”

  • Parent from a place of what IS, not what IF…
  • Parent from abundance, not lack
  • Honor each of my children’s authentic selves and unique spirit
  • Pay attention to my inner landscape and keep it clean
  • Watch my thoughts – remind myself that my thoughts are not real
  • Watch out for my ego:
    • The ego can very easily lure and cajole me into parenting from a place of fear, guilt, shame, lack, doubt
    • The ego is a sneaky beast who can and will creep up on me when I least expect it
    • Do not let myself fall prey to the ego’s manipulative, persuasive thoughts that will not serve me
    • Do not attach meaning to fearful thoughts or an entourage of thoughts will ensue – try to nip them in the bud
  • Practice meditation to help me see my thoughts as just thoughts. Practice watching them come and watching them go, not attaching to them
  • Keep my ego in check and continually self-scan for signs of the sneaky beast: the what if’s, I should’s, I ought’s, I’m not good enough’s. If they arrive, hose them down!
  • Be clear with my values
  • Use containment and boundaries to protect my values
  • Connect me to what my child needs me to be. Does this mean I become permissive? Absolutely not
  • Embody my values and live in alignment with them
  • Regularly ask myself these questions:
    • What is happening for me right now?
    • What is happening for my child right now?
    • What do they need?
    • What do I need to be for them, to teach them, guide them, support and empower them?

Step 3: Be Gentle With Yourself:

It’s a Journey, Not A One Stop Fix

I know, it’s easier said than done, but the more I try, the more I improve. AND The more I am aware, the more I can continue to grow, evolve and upgrade my parenting practices.

I believe that my journey as a parent is a work in progress, an ever-evolving practice. But, like everything in life, I have to work for what I believe in and I am fully committed to raising myself to empower my children. I see the benefits of it each and every day.

Thank you Dr Shefali Tsabary for the gift you have given me and continue to bring to me each and every day.

If you liked this post , you might well like this one too. You can read it HERE. It’s titled: Behind Every Child Who Is Confident Is A Parent Who Was Confident First. We need to become so much more aware of the monumental influence we have on our children and always look within, role model and upgrade our ways of parenting.

If this is a new concept to you, please let me know what you think. What is your biggest parenting challenge right now? I’d love to hear from you.

Partnering You


PS. Join my private Facebook Parenting Group The Conscious Parent Community and get FREE coaching all year long. It’s a great tribe of amazing moms who are all trying to figure out this thing called being a parent!! At times it can be a beast. I know. That’s why it’s good to get some support.